“this is the hill you want to die on?” oh no i just love arguing. i fully intend to leave this hill once it gets boring. sorry for the confusion!

[ID: A tag that says, "#alternatively this isn't the hill I want to die on it's the hill I want to kill u on 🥰". End ID]

After sex you see me roll over and go to balcony. You think ive gone for smoke due to my melancholic nature but I’ve opened sudoku.com evil level

if i was the dead wife in a male protagonist’s tragic backstory my dead wife hazy memory montage would be me laughing while scrolling my own tumblr blog

I think instead of heaven or hell when they die everyone who has ever wanted to fuck Cicero from skyrim should all be put in a big room together and can only pass on to the next afterlife once they find out that 1 secret thing they have in common

Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.

This but it's my partner taking an art history class in college and the professor looking at them like they grew a second head when they answered "What came out of Jesus' wound when he was stabbed on the cross" with "...Blood?"

Additions that prove my point by mystifying me because what on earth would come out of a nail wound besides blood. Are you telling me it was something besides blood. What was jesus full of that wasn't blood. You guys are scaring me

Apparently it was water?? I guess he was also stabbed on top of being crucified (which feels like overkill imo) and water came out, which was a huge deal in medieval symbolism and also to my medieval poetry professor, who was genuinely shocked and upset that I didn’t know. This man fully docked me points because I, a whole ass Jew, hadn’t somehow heard about the secret waterballoon Jesus lore that I guess everyone is supposed to like… intuit

On the plus side, it does lead to some absolutely wild medieval Jesus art of angels tapping him like a fucking keg

a friend of a friend went to go see passion of the christ for kicks without knowing anything about the story

when jesus was hauled up on the cross he turned to my friend and said, in all evident sincerity, 'i know they're not going to kill the main character but how's jesus getting out of this one?'

i have been rearranged at a molecular level

[robot with the biggest eyebags ever] ill be fine as soon as i organize my wires nothing a bit of cable management camt fix. yeah hold on i just gotta allocate more ram and reset my internal clock and plug this usb stick in. ya im fine i just need to recharge and turn this dial and do a quick system reset. the diagnostics of that script i ran are a lie btw im fine. do you have any cigarettes

amazing

reblog if you were born smooth down there like a Ken doll

the tendency to remove complexity from well written protagonists(/antagonists) because of a belief that they'd be more likable if they were simpler very frustratingly coexists with the tendency to give minor characters unnecessary complexity because of a belief that the writers were behaving maliciously against them for treating them like minor characters